$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Shame - the story of my life.
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