Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
