it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
