She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I will die if light touches me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
