everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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