i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
