I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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