is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
