Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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