i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
ok first of all what the fuck
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
