He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
