i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize