i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
