But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
