yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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