I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
