Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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