Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
