:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
