I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
