your parents love me but you hate me
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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