I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He felt like a one man threesome
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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