oh god the rape fog is back!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
