return my video game
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
