Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
