my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
