the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
