he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
ugly people sure do ruin things
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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