i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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