Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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