I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
