i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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