This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
