very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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