yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
