good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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