after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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