that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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