Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
