why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Small penises have feelings too.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
