I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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