Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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