I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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