capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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