I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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