You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
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I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
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Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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