didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
