this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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