I can text with my tongue
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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