would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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