Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
