booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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