i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
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He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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