thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
