what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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