I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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