We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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