i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
