Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
