I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
